Heartbreak Chronicles Part 5: The Ending

She needs space
But I need her…..
I want her as mine
But the thoughts defer…

Maybe later she says….
But times more greater…
So I just watch baby girl turn me to a hater

And I don’t want to call her
Cause she got a new friend
This here is a nuisance
Tryna patch loose ends…..


This is so confusing
No laughing matter
Cause…….
I don’t find it funny
Other dudes getting at her…

And now that I’m messed up
Send me to a clinic
Cause the pain that I feel is
Unprecedented

And now we don’t talk
Look each other in the eye
Acknowledge what we had…
Guess those memories....... died?

Now baby girl's married
Husband and some kids
Now I’m left with the nightmare
Of what it now is………
The fact what it was?
Aint the same how it is
Too hurt to display an emotion from a tear……………………

Heartbreak Chronicles Part 4: The Killer

If there's no hope just straight tell me..
Kill me now without any regard for our friendship
Maybe I need to die again to realize again...the mistake I've made

How could I give u the power to put a bullet to my head... for without you I am better off dead.


End my misery by telling me its over. Who knows if I'll survive the shot..
I've bled before but not like this.....
Would have pulled the trigger myself but I've realize that alive you've brought me bliss.
Now you hold the decision to pull the trigger...
This isn't Russian roulette
But the 6 chamber pistol of regret...
And as I sweat not only tears, the fear is not in dying but lying here crying

knowing that the one who was suppose to love me is now the one to murder me..............

HeartBreak Chronicles Part 3: The Lost

Without You Why Do I feel Lost?
With you Why Do I Feel The Same.

I've become someone else in order to please you

I have to regain myself.

I've lost much more than I have gained
and experienced much pain than I can explain

Was the act of loving you in vain?

If not, then what was I to learn from this turmoil.....this heartbreak........this pain.

Heartbreak Chronicles Part 2: The Healing

Shit happens. Right?

So why is it that I'm still hurting from what happen 10 months ago on that dreadful day when she said, " I need space, its not you its me." I realize that since that day I'm became a self destructive emotional wreck but not many would know because I never show it. Initially I've tried to get "her" to change her mind. I've begged, I've pleaded, I apologized, and blamed myself. I became less of a person, less of a man to make "her" more of a woman. I eventually said f*ck it and moved on after witnessing certain things that brought the "I need space syndrome" to light. I've seen "her" with the guy, even had a face to face confrontation with "him." I've felt betrayed, used, and hurt from this experience. They say that the amount of time you've invested in building a relationship that collapsed is the same amount of time it takes to rise from the the collapse back to a foundation again. I know it wont take me 3.5 years to get it together but from this I've learned to take one day at a time and if someone comes along, maybe I will cautiously give them a chance but until then.....


I've become heartless

Heartbreak Chronicles Part 1: The Lesson

Heartbreak. What can I say about it. It happens to the best of us. The inevitable depression. I've learned that I should no longer blame myself. Everything isnt always meant to be. Some relationships prosper while others wither away. This was just one relationship that wasnt meant to be the way my heart intended. What's funny is that we as people will never learn the consequences of our actions until it's too late. It's easy to feel from one's own perspective that we were the victims receiving the short end of the stick. Sometimes it's self gratifying to impose that the victimizer is our worst enemy when in fact the victimizer can be our greatest teacher. So sure, I've had my heart broken or rather my expectations unmet but what didnt kill me only made me stronger and its gonna take the might of a million men for her or any woman for that matter to break it again.................


I now close out with


Kanye West - Tell Everyone You Know (Feat. Lil Wayne)