I'm dreaming again....this time about running away....
do you ever feel like the place you inhabit is not made for you. Deep down inside you feel that its another place out there for you, a place where you can be free. Be yourself.....no pain....no sorrow.....no tomorrows......time doesn't exist in this place....neither does death....life is all there is....
Its beautiful. You should see it....this is my euphoria..my paradise...my nirvana...this isn't fiction or a fairy tale...this is where I am when I'm sleeping....when I'm dreaming.....but never when I'm awake.
This is intransia.
The world that I live in when I'm awake is a world of sorrow, hatred, and injustice.....there's beauty, fairness, and love within as well but not enough to sustain it from its own destruction.Maybe this is the nature of it....maybe I'm not from here because I don't feel like everyone else...I don't think or see things like everyone else....that doesn't mean that everyone else perspective/perception is wrong. It just means that mine is different...
Nothing more...nothing less....there is not a need for others to agree with me or share the same thoughts...just accept me for who I am and how I feel.
I don't expect to be understood by everyone... I could care less what anyone thinks
I want freedom...true freedom......and I will have it soon....
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Heartbreak Chronicles Part 4: The Killer
If there's no hope just straight tell me..
Kill me now without any regard for our friendship
Maybe I need to die again to realize again...the mistake I've made
How could I give u the power to put a bullet to my head... for without you I am better off dead.
End my misery by telling me its over. Who knows if I'll survive the shot..
I've bled before but not like this.....
Would have pulled the trigger myself but I've realize that alive you've brought me bliss.
Now you hold the decision to pull the trigger...
This isn't Russian roulette
But the 6 chamber pistol of regret...
And as I sweat not only tears, the fear is not in dying but lying here crying
knowing that the one who was suppose to love me is now the one to murder me..............
Kill me now without any regard for our friendship
Maybe I need to die again to realize again...the mistake I've made
How could I give u the power to put a bullet to my head... for without you I am better off dead.
End my misery by telling me its over. Who knows if I'll survive the shot..
I've bled before but not like this.....
Would have pulled the trigger myself but I've realize that alive you've brought me bliss.
Now you hold the decision to pull the trigger...
This isn't Russian roulette
But the 6 chamber pistol of regret...
And as I sweat not only tears, the fear is not in dying but lying here crying
knowing that the one who was suppose to love me is now the one to murder me..............
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Simplest Necessity........Becomes
Where did the love go?
And why didn’t it stay?
What are we chasing that’s real compared to what we’re chasing away?
It seems that our hearts have become resistant to the one true thing that’s vital to our growth. The simplest necessity becomes the most complex luxury that very few benefit from obtaining and keeping for long. Its seems that love started off as the most tranquil desire only to end up becoming the most painful affliction. So what is it that allows us to fall into a deep state of bliss and then in an instant change how we feel because of fear. The fear based upon the assumption that the love we gain will someday be lost…..traumatically….again…..
Yet we don’t know……
We allow ourselves to suffer thinking about what isn’t there instead of what’s here today, very much alive and in our face…..
I can’t make you change your mind if its already been made and I can no longer overexert myself on proving what’s real.
Time will tell.
And why didn’t it stay?
What are we chasing that’s real compared to what we’re chasing away?
It seems that our hearts have become resistant to the one true thing that’s vital to our growth. The simplest necessity becomes the most complex luxury that very few benefit from obtaining and keeping for long. Its seems that love started off as the most tranquil desire only to end up becoming the most painful affliction. So what is it that allows us to fall into a deep state of bliss and then in an instant change how we feel because of fear. The fear based upon the assumption that the love we gain will someday be lost…..traumatically….again…..
Yet we don’t know……
We allow ourselves to suffer thinking about what isn’t there instead of what’s here today, very much alive and in our face…..
I can’t make you change your mind if its already been made and I can no longer overexert myself on proving what’s real.
Time will tell.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Love Vibration
The integral part of life that’s been missing lately is what we need indeed. Humans have been infected by a parasite, a parasite that feeds on its victims until they become hollow and soul-less, empty cavities with just a shell. It has the nature of a virus that plaques many.
What can be done about this epidemic of hatred?
There’s no longer a vibration. The light that once existed is slowly vanquishing. Could we really thrive, let alone survive within perpetual darkness? What has become of us? We’ve become heartless without gain, placing strain on ourselves and others for the purpose of “advancement” The “hatred complex” has taken over our hearts, our minds, and sadly our lives. Opinions are no longer opinions. They’re no longer statements of our individualism but simply attachments to our ego.
“I hate you”
“I hate her”
“I hate him”
“I hate them”
“You hate yourself”
We are all the same don’t you get it? The same blood runs through our veins. The same thoughts occupy our minds. The same unlimited potential runs through each and every single one of us. So why HATE? What do you gain from hating someone who shares the same capabilities as you? Are we not talented and valuable the same? No? Whose opinion is that anyway? Exactly! Yours. You become what you believe and if you don’t take yourself to greater places from where you’re standing then perhaps the only thing holding you back is yourself. Destroy that self doubt and fear that you feel from seeing others achieve greatness for you too can achieve that same greatness. You must love yourself like there’s no greater love.
You must love others the same.
What can be done about this epidemic of hatred?
There’s no longer a vibration. The light that once existed is slowly vanquishing. Could we really thrive, let alone survive within perpetual darkness? What has become of us? We’ve become heartless without gain, placing strain on ourselves and others for the purpose of “advancement” The “hatred complex” has taken over our hearts, our minds, and sadly our lives. Opinions are no longer opinions. They’re no longer statements of our individualism but simply attachments to our ego.
“I hate you”
“I hate her”
“I hate him”
“I hate them”
“You hate yourself”
We are all the same don’t you get it? The same blood runs through our veins. The same thoughts occupy our minds. The same unlimited potential runs through each and every single one of us. So why HATE? What do you gain from hating someone who shares the same capabilities as you? Are we not talented and valuable the same? No? Whose opinion is that anyway? Exactly! Yours. You become what you believe and if you don’t take yourself to greater places from where you’re standing then perhaps the only thing holding you back is yourself. Destroy that self doubt and fear that you feel from seeing others achieve greatness for you too can achieve that same greatness. You must love yourself like there’s no greater love.
You must love others the same.
Release the virus of hate from your mind, body, and soul.
Take the antidote……..
Take the antidote……..
HeartBreak Chronicles Part 3: The Lost
Without You Why Do I feel Lost?
With you Why Do I Feel The Same.
I've become someone else in order to please you
I have to regain myself.
I've lost much more than I have gained
and experienced much pain than I can explain
Was the act of loving you in vain?
If not, then what was I to learn from this turmoil.....this heartbreak........this pain.
With you Why Do I Feel The Same.
I've become someone else in order to please you
I have to regain myself.
I've lost much more than I have gained
and experienced much pain than I can explain
Was the act of loving you in vain?
If not, then what was I to learn from this turmoil.....this heartbreak........this pain.
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