The battle of the mind pt 1: the destruction we created

I've come to the realization that the most difficult task in life and not in the form of poverty, hardship, heartache, or death but the most difficult task is in conquering the mind. Some call it self mastery but one thing that can be said about this arduous task is that is that probably the solution to the many problems that plaque the world as we know it today.

Look within your mind. What does it contain? An array of thoughts both negative and positive in form but the key ingredient to what lies manifested in front of your eyes. We are creators of our own universe with our thoughts being the blueprint to both our survival and our demise. Just think of all the destruction this world contains. All the hatred, wars, violence, and chaos. It all originates from how we "view" one another based upon you guessed it: our thinking...

Let the moment of reflection begin

I'M READY TO EXIST IN A PLACE WHERE THERE LIES NO SUFFERING

WHEN I SAY THAT I'M HAPPY OR JOYFUL, IM LYING TO MYSELF… I’M JUST TELLING MYSELF THAT TO GET MY MIND TO BELIEVE IT BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE. YOU ARE THE SUM OF YOUR THOUGHTS.. MAN IS WHAT MAN THINKETH…… BUT THAT’S A FALSE HAPPINESS. A FALSE JOY…..

THE JOY THAT I'M LOOKING FOR ISNT BASED SOLELY ON THE MIND. THE JOY AND HAPPINESS THAT IM LOOKING FOR ISNT TEMPORARY. IT ISNT A FEELING BECAUSE FEELINGS ARE BASED UPON EXTERNAL THINGS. IT IS A PERMANENT EXISTENCE. IT IS THE ESSENCE OF WHO I AM.

IT'S NOT EVEN BASED UPON A BELIEF…

ITS JUST THERE!

INSIDE ME….. IT IS ME… WE ARE ONE…..

THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT…. MANY WILL LISTEN BUT FEW WILL ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND….
I FEEL LIKE I’M BEGINNING TO WAKE UP AND SEE THIS WORLD FOR WHAT IT IS AND WHAT ITS NOT…..

IT’S LIKE BEING WARM ON THE INSIDE DESPITE EXISTING IN A COLD CLIMATE… THE OUTSIDE DOESN’T BOTHER YOU AT ALL.

THIS IS WHAT OUR MINDS DO….IT ALLOWS US TO BASE OUR HAPPINES ON PERCEPTIONS BUT WHAT IF THE PERCEPTIONS WERE ILLUSIONS?

THEN YOU CAN SAY THAT ALL ALONG WE WERE CLINGING TO FALSE THINGS…..WHICH WILL ALLOW US TO CONSTANTLY SUFFER…..

AND EVEN SUFFERING CAN BE AVOIDED DESPITE WHAT MANY PEOPLE THINK (I.E IT’S A PART OF LIFE, YOU HAVE TO SUFFER ON EARTH…..ETC ETC)

THE SUFFERING MUST COME TO AN END
AND THIS EXPLAINS WHY I’M READY TO DIE……

FOR IN DEATH COMES LIFE

The happiness that I seek, where can it be found??

Right now I feel like dying. Not in a physical sense per se but mentally I wish I could destroy all these thoughts, dogma, and worldly perspectives from my mind so that I may obtain a peace within that’s beyond this physical plane of existence. Nothing is of inspiration to me anymore. The life that occupies my body is living, breathing, and spectacular yet this existence lies trapped (temporarily) on a mundane planet that has no understanding of PEACE. If time could stop. If worries would fade… If joy could pervade through both the mind and body. What would life be like then?
A return to the source of all things?
What is the source of my being?
My hello to this world is my goodbye. To die is to in fact to live……


And I’m ready to die…..

Are we living?
Or are we just here.

The days are the same
How sad this routine life

Keeping us afloat through the hope
of a tomorrow that isn’t here…

What we fear is that
What we waited our precious moments hoping for

will never come.
This cant be life.

The change has to start now
Before its too late

And we lose out on what’s really important….
Happiness…..
Joy…..
The moment of now……

In Wonderland

I’ve come to a point in my life where I question everything that was either bestowed upon, taught, or told to me. Am I spiritual? Am I antheist? Am I agnostic? The truth is I don’t even know who I am. I only know that I am a product of other people’s opinions, lessons, words, and thoughts… This doesn’t make me………..ME…..
Am I an individual??
or am I a robot that has been programmed with useless software intended to keep me under control??

I realize that to believe in something means to experience it…. (or at least it should be this way)

I know what love is……
I know what happiness is as well…..

But how do I explain these things to someone who havent experienced this or has a different experience from what I’m explaining????

There are so many lies…….from history to religion to media to government……
What’s left to believe in??

Is faith and hope just meant to keep us afloat??

No two people see the world the same way
But the way I see it, there isnt MUCH love…….
There isnt MUCH peace……
There isnt MUCH happiness………

It just doesn’t make sense……..

It truly feels like we’re just a part of some game/experiment to prove what????

Although I feel lost, I’m thirsty for the truth

Which leaves me to ask:
What is the truth if the truth I thought was the truth was really in truth a lie??

The IN "FEAR" IORTY COMPLEX

I just want PEACE of mind,
The world is NOT going to change
We just have to change how we REACT to it……

This is what I’m teaching myself everyday….Everything happens to mentally train your mind.
All of this bullsh*t from the recession, stock market crash, unemployment, etc

It’s all MENTAL. Mentally we react to it in a manner that brings fear, frustration, and anxiety to ourselves….

FEAR is a powerful force……..
It can drive us insane, force us to lose faith, force us to harm ourselves and others, etc…….

Example: If someone lost their Job, they would react one of two ways. If fear was produced from them being fired, then they would instantly panic about how they’re going to survive until they find a job…….how will the mortgage be paid, etc, etc….etc but if they were the opposite and wasn’t fear driven, then they would understand that things happen (whether for a reason or cause and effect) and they would have faith that they would find another job and that things would be restored to a normal fashion….. No one dies from being FIRED……WE STILL HAVE OUR HEALTH AND OUR LIFE….WE STILL HAVE OPTIONS, CHOICES, AND OPPORTUNITIES THAT WE CAN CREATE FOR OURSELVES……


IT’S NOT THE STRESSFUL SITUATIONS OR HARDTIMES

BUT HOW WE REACT TO IT……….

So ask yourself this question

Are you FEAR or FAITH driven?

The Remembrance

A dear friend of mine asked me "when its all said and done, how would you liked to be remembered."
and so I replied:

A small quiet gentleman with a big heart, loud ideas with an open and free mind.

A man who embraced creativity through music and film to bring people together not break them apart.
A man who went against the grain to stand out not because it was cool or trendy but because he wanted others to embrace their individualism as well. A man who found himself through self discovery by traveling the world, gaining insight from not one but many things. A man who gained strength through his adversity.
A man who became the change he wished to see in the world.
For when He leaves, He'll become a part of the sun so that He may forever shine upon everyone that he leaves behind.

How would you like to be remembered when its all said and done?

A lie painted white

For some people it becomes a habit to deceive others. Some lie to protect. Some lie to deceive which leads me to ask, " Are we capable of handling the truth."

Honesty is an act of integrity even if it hurts. The idea behind honesty is that even if we hurt one another by telling the truth, we can accept that we're human even if we don't necessarily agree with each other's actions or decisions.



Do we live and accept a lie because we fear the truth?

The Dream State

In a dream state……….

What makes the dream when we’re asleep any different from the dream when we’re awake? Are our dreams when we’re sleep an illusion or a subconscious reality?
What is reality?
Is it that which can be detected from the 5 senses?

Is reality the state of being awake?

What defines being awake if in fact we’re really sleeping?
Our eyes are open but are we really aware?
Are we conscious to all that surrounds us or sleeping while awake?

Who Am I?

When you have to ask yourself this question, it means that you haven't fully discovered the components that make you who you are. Everyday is a day where you learn something new about yourself.

Self Exploration is the key to Self Actualization.

What makes you happy?

What makes you incomparable to others?

What defines you?

Everyone has something to offer the world. Greatness isnt only exhibited through artistry and the like. It can be as simple as how well you embrace others with your presence to how well you embrace others with your story. We're all children of the universe.

Embrace your potential. Embrace your Uniqueness. Embrace who you are

Embrace You

The perfect dwelling for me to stay.
So long I’ve waited for this day
She doesn’t live here anymore
I don’t want her to.
I’ve realize that we are better apart than we are together
Though sometimes I miss her.
The sweet taste of her lips drenched with the lipstick of both destruction and bliss.
But that’s gone now………
And I’ve become strong now
At peace within this home we no longer share together…..

“To live our dreams, we must wake up”-Unknown


Today we must reignite that passion we once had to be what we desire to become. We can not leave our creative energy in a suppressed state any longer. Life in general can put a damper on our dreams. We must strive to discover who we are and what our “place” within this world is. We must unlock our unlimited potential. We must strive to become creative. We must inspire the world through art.

Is life not a vast canvas filled with an assortment of styles and colors?
Which color or colors do you represent?


No matter what, we must stop dreaming life, and start living it.

We Must Follow our Own Path

“Only we can discover the truth for ourselves”


There are too many people in the world who feel that what may apply to them is the same thing that may apply to you. We must realize that we’re all different. We have different viewpoints, opinions, paths, and philosophies. If only we could respect those differences then the world would be a much better place. My truth may not be your truth. My belief may not be your belief. My faith may not be your faith. We have to allow others to just be themselves without judgement or ridicule. If we were the same then we would be an army of robots but despite our programming , we’re still an army of humans………….

Just let each other be.

Good or Bad? Neither. Only what our mind interprets.

Stress is a feeling in your mind of fear, anxiety, distress, worry, unease, or foreboding caused by using your mind to imagine a bad outcome to a past, present, or future event or situation.

If you’re unhappy with your current situation, continue to think positive while putting forth the necessary action to change it.

We can’t control everything that comes our way but we can however control how we react to those things that come out way.

We make the determination and not the event so therefore we must be determined to see every situation as a situation that is beneficial to us, even if it appears that its not.

You never now what may come from any challenge that you face. I feel there's a lot humans have the ability to understand but don’t, perhaps because of what we've been programmed to believe.

When we learn to become calm and still maintain our inner piece no matter what the outer world gives us, only then will we learn the true art of happiness.


Trust me, I’m learning day by day as well

She's waiting..... One day

I used to believe in love.

I still do.

I'm just afraid to take chances again.

Its too risky.

I realize that when I fall, I fall hard.

Sometimes I put others before myself but never get the same treatment.

I see women differently now.

Beautiful but equally complex creatures.

When it seems you have them figured out you realize there's much more to discover.

I realized that it makes no sense to spend the effort trying to figure someone else out while losing more of myself in the process. This is what I fight with everyday.

It seems that love was a fight in which I never came out a winner.

I loved sincerely, wholeheartedly, and unconditionally and finally came to the conclusion that people do not quite know what they want. If this is the case and human minds are constantly changing and growing, is the idea of committment unrealistic? If we know that people are capable of changing their mind, would it be a risk to engage someone with the intent of starting a lifelong union?

" Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" -Alfred Lord Tennyson:

Maybe I'll settle for the latter though my heart tells me never give up.

Sometimes what you seek will come to you when you least expect it.

I'll just have to settle for love when she comes............

One Day...

Heartbreak Chronicles Part 5: The Ending

She needs space
But I need her…..
I want her as mine
But the thoughts defer…

Maybe later she says….
But times more greater…
So I just watch baby girl turn me to a hater

And I don’t want to call her
Cause she got a new friend
This here is a nuisance
Tryna patch loose ends…..


This is so confusing
No laughing matter
Cause…….
I don’t find it funny
Other dudes getting at her…

And now that I’m messed up
Send me to a clinic
Cause the pain that I feel is
Unprecedented

And now we don’t talk
Look each other in the eye
Acknowledge what we had…
Guess those memories....... died?

Now baby girl's married
Husband and some kids
Now I’m left with the nightmare
Of what it now is………
The fact what it was?
Aint the same how it is
Too hurt to display an emotion from a tear……………………

The Peace Within > The chaos Without

“When you can be calm in the midst of activity, this is the true state of nature. When you can be happy in the midst of hardship, then you see the true potential of the mind.” – Unknown


You ever wonder why when it’s just you and your thoughts with no distractions, you are most at peace? Our days are filed with deadlines, obligations, fulfillments, and the like. So when do we have time for ourselves? Our minds tend to wander here and there about any and every little thing until the focus is on nothing. Take the time to relax. Inhale peace and contentment. Exhale stress and negative energy.

“Be still and know that I am God”


When you further analyze this statement, you realize that to be still is to be in a state of calmness (at peace). To know that despite how things may appear to be, the universe is watching and planning something good on your behalf.

The Nature of Life

The one thing that is a constant in life is change. It is the nature of things. Winter becomes Fall. Spring becomes Summer but despite the recurrence of seasons, nothing remains the way it used to be. Just like the seasons, we also change and because we are all individuals with different though patterns, sometimes the change we incur takes us in different directions.

“Sooner or Later it all comes crashing down”- N.e.r.d


Some of us become fixated on what used to be remaining attached to what was, denying what is, disregarding what’s to become. We become angry or sad over losing someone we love. The experience leaves us feeling bewildered and sad...yet we don’t know, do we?

Don’t blame yourself.. (easier said than done cause I know)
Realize that what occurred is the best possible thing that could happen to you. For out of this can only come a lesson to make you a better person.

“ What doesn’t kill a person can only make them stronger, but if it drives them to kill themselves, then they weren’t strong all along”

The Universe (God) knows tomorrow
You only know today

The Eulogy: I am the Sun

What becomes of us when there becomes an end? What do we leave behind when our spirits ascend?

The great Jay-Z once said,

“Aint in it for the fame, that dies within weeks
Aint in it for the money, can’t take it when you leave
I wanna be remembered long after you grieve, long
After I’m gone, long after I breathe,
I leave all I am in the hands of history"


I thought for a long time what would be my exit song. The song that commemorates my existence on earth. A lasting impression. A Distant Memory. An exclamation. A message to all to remember who I was. The history I made. The people I saved. The lives I touched and changed.


This wouldn’t be sadness but joy. The joy in knowing that I took part in something beautiful. Life. What I was and still will continue to be. Life is energy and energy never dies nor is it destroyed. It just changes form. I will live on thru my spirit, through my music, through my legacy.
I am not this shell. I am not this face nor this body. I am energy
(soul) that occupies a vessel (body). I am one part of a vast whole (the universe).

And when I ascend, I become a part of the sun, so that I may forever shine on everyone that I leave behind…..

Electric Therapy

Everyone has a favorite song that gets them through their day. While it’s mostly the message found within, its also the emotion that’s felt upon listening and relating to what the artist is saying

The 10 most important songs to me this very moment ( lately I’ve been listening to a lot of rock)

1.) Jet-Shine On- This song makes me think of what I would play at my funeral. It wouldn’t be a moment of sadness but a declaration that I will shine on for everyone that I leave behind. until we meet again…..
2.) Lenny Kravitz- This moment is all there is- If Buddha was a rock star, he most definitely would’ve been Lenny Kravitz. Lenny Kravitz has that ability to touch you with deeply spiritual lyrics infused with timeless melodies. One of the greatest. Bar None
3.) N*E*R*D- Love Bomb- The world doesn’t need another love song. What the world needs is another love bomb to blow all the hatred and injustice that plagues it away………..
4.) Aerosmith- Dream On- What can I Say about this song that the title doesn’t already summarize. Sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tear……….you know the rest
5.) Linkin Park- Leave out all the rest- This song has a similar message to Jet’s shine on. It’s like telling someone that when you’re time comes, and you’re gone……just keep with them the cherished memories and Leave out all the rest.
6.) N*E*R*D-Sooner or later- This is another one of my favorite N.e.r.d songs. Every morning I play this song to remind myself that the past is over and for me to just leave it where it belongs…..behind me.
7.) Rage against the machine-Bombtrack-This is the track I play when I have so much frustration inside and I just want to release it in a positive manner. Rage is one of the reasons why I love Rock music so much.
8.) Pendulum-Granite- This song starts off like its going to be a dope theme song to a horror film, but then before you know it the song strats spazzing out and I start spazzing too! Lmoa! I would love to see this group perform this song live. Can you say insane cause that's what it would be.
9.) X-ecutioners/Black Thought- Executioner Style- Black Thought got it in on this one. The combination of his lyrical grittiness and the X-ecutioners "cuts and blends" made this a great mash up and by the way it was on linkin park's reanimation album.
10.)X-ecutioners feat Mike Shinoda(of Linkin Park)-It's going Down- This song is similar to the one above but instead of Black Thought blessing the mic, it was Linkin Park's Mike Shinoda who went in equally as hard.....

The Perfect Imperfection

The perfect imperfection

The media has implanted misconceptions in our head about what "beauty" is. Despite us all being imperfect in some way, some of us tend to look down on ourselves because we don't fit the description of what society deems beautiful.
We seem to be most impressed with what's on the outside overlooking the fact that on the inside is who we really are. We are all one in the same which means that when you strip away any outer physical appearance or shell, you get the bare us....the true us.

The soul.

We are made of energy. The energy that makes up the vast universe. The energy that originates from a higher energy source (God). This is what’s meant by we are the same. I know that it can take time to overturn the abuse and pain we’ve done to ourselves (I know, I struggle with these things as well) but everyday should be a day where you look yourself in the mirror and smile because you are in fact a beautiful creation and whether you like or dislike certain things about your physical self, you must realize that it’s only a shell, whose purpose is to shelter the very essence of who you are……

Some call it the soul
Others call it the Psyche.....

I call it you, and there's nothing else like it.